Posted by: Sheila | January 20, 2009

On the night before

20janonthenightb4

 

The night before a big event is truly exciting. You are imagining what it will be like.You are planning what you will wear, you are preparing your body for the event. In truth you are psyching yourself up.

For me it is my nephew’s confirmation. He is the last one in my extended family it seems to celebrate this sacrament and I am honoured to be his sponsor.

This is a Catholic tradition and involves me renewing my baptismal vows and placing my hand on his shoulder and so symbolically I will be there for him as he becomes a man of the church.

But right now, that’s all a long way away. Right now, it feels a little like the day before our wedding, the lateness of the hour, the clothes laid out, the clock set. Everything on stand by. Finally when everything is ready you fall into bed and cannot sleep as you imagine through all the following day and wonder what it will hold.

In life there are many great “night befores”. Almost nothing can match the night before a baby is born. Or the night before your wedding. The feeling that you are not only witnessing but part taking in an event that will draw a line in time and in your head. You will refer to before and after the wedding /baby afterwards for time to come.

There are sad nights before too. Like the night before someone dies especially if it is sudden and maybe it was not savoured, or the night before a horrible exam or the night before the end of a marriage. These nights you go to bed late and hardly sleep at all worrying about what the next day will hold: panicking over its outcome.

It is really complex to live in the now until you consciously make it a habit but we certainly must try. It is a shame to give up the now, thinking about what hasn’t even happened and probably never will.

Now I am all for excitement and adrenaline in its own way as long as it has a small place and the now is not lost.

Otherwise, by the time the event happens for better or for worse it has been already played out in your head and you almost veer towards that conclusion.

Every day is a leap of faith so trust in God or your Higher Power, hand it over and rest the night before, either way you have a long day ahead of you.

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