Posted by: Sheila | December 1, 2008

On being alone

There is more than one type of being alone. There is the lonely type where you crave any company at all even if it is just the postman. Or the type where you are thrilled to get some peace and do all those chores you never do.
Sometimes we are unsettled in ourselves and so find it hard to be alone for long periods of time. We are unhappy in ourselves and long for the distractions of others to pass the time and stop us from having to think too much. When you truly begin to love yourself and are good to yourself you do become your own best friend. When you start to feel like this, alone time is very like the going out time feeling. There is all the anticipation, the planning, the preparing and the enjoyment.

Remember when you were younger and you could waken up early turn over in the bed and go back to sleep. Or get up and then go back to bed and read. Or when you could pull over a duvet to a couch and vegetate for hours (my favourite!)They were good days and good times when hours passed like seconds and you could become truly absorbed in what you were (or were not) doing. If you learn to love yourself, being alone can be a real gift.

Even if you feel you are alone too much you can get on the Internet, into a book, into a bath or on to the phone without even leaving the house. Having a lovely phone call or email or book can be just as satisfying as sitting in a pub or restaurant with actual humans.

So treasure your alone time. Even if you have too much. You never know when it will end and time with you, your own best friend is precious. No one understands you like you do, no one has walked down your path and no one has ever stood in your shoes.

Only you, in fact understands you.

If you feel that you need more human contact then start with Internet groups of subjects that interest you, move than maybe to book clubs in the library or on the net. If obvious pursuits like night classes do not tickle your fancy and meeting people is awkward for you (you may be very shy or find it hard to get out) then use the mediums that you have at home. Use the phone, the Internet, the radio and the television. They are valuable tools to pass the hours when simple contemplation in the bathtub just doesn’t suffice.






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