Posted by: Sheila | November 8, 2008

It is okay to be happy


I have a friend who has a problem, well in fact she no longer has her problem and that’s her problem. She was in a destructive relationship and while the relationship is no longer there the habit well and truly is. She is almost as unhappy alone as she was in the miserable relationship. This is very common. We become so used to feeling and reacting one way it is almost impossible to feel and react the other way even when things outwardly have changed completely.

It takes a real effort to think before we react. We can become so used to someone telling us what to think or how to act that when they have left the picture (or we have left their picture) then we feel we do not know how to be. Equally we react on automatic pilot to situations. Our brains get lazy about having so much to deal with and our mind tries to anticipate the situation and feed in a reaction almost straight away.

Examples of this would be “it always rains on my day off” or “the traffic is always heavy coming home on a Monday” “My boss is always in terrible form” While clearly sometimes these thoughts are true, many times they are not but our map is not prepared for that. When we are in this frame of mind if the bad thing does not happen we are practically looking for it.

My friend knows that she needs to change how she sees things. She, deep inside, knows she has a more relaxed life now and it all points to her happiness. However she has to work hard to break the cycle of thought set up to protect herself over years. Thankfully she can do this alone, with friends or even with professional help if need be. The important fact we all need to know is we can all be helped. No one needs to be miserable and I really hope that soon my friend finds that out.


  1. She can find her path with reading about self improvement and the universal laws. Once she has read and practiced that she will find her way to personal happiness. Also, what colors are the rooms painted in her house? This can make an amazing difference in her mood and how she feels. If she looks up feng shui she can design her environment to benefit her and with the rest that will start to make a real difference in her life.


  2. Thanks for the advice, will pass it on, I agree that colours can make a huge diff as your environment can truly affect how you feel.


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